Causes of Social Anxiety and Social phobia
Next time you are in a social situation and feel self conscious or anxious, take a moment to really pay attention. Notice what’s going on in your mind. In many instances social anxiety is caused by a strong reaction to constant worry and self-criticism.
That’s right, as a hypnotherapist I have come to know that the main cause of anxiety and negativity is our inner critic. When you criticise yourself you become anxious and insecure. Your feel as though you are not good enough.
You may criticise yourself for not being more confident, prettier, funnier, smarter and so on. This leaves you feeling inadequate at work or inferior in social situations which can develop into a full blown social phobia.
The inner critic and relentless negative self talk can make social phobia much worse. The more you do it the more powerful the inner critic gets. The more you compare yourself to others, the less you seem to measure up.
“You have been criticising yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself instead and see what happens”. Louise L Hay
A friend recently mentioned that her work colleague confided she gets extremely anxious in social situations. Apparently, it all started at a work Christmas Party. One minute she was casually walking down some steps, next minute she lost her balance and fell.
She ended up in a heap on the floor.
Her dress was flung awkwardly revealing her undergarments and pantyhose. Luckily not injured, but very embarrassed.
Later someone joked about it, causing her once again to feel self-conscious, ashamed and clumsy. It wouldn’t have been so bad if she was able to just let it go, to be over and done with it.
But no, that wasn’t the end of her story.
She re-lived that humiliating moment in her mind, many times. Over and over again. Telling herself she should have been less clumsy; she should have done this to prevent falling; and that to make sure her dress was neat; to check and double check every step.
She was so hard on herself, could not forget and forgive herself. For her, the debilitating shame and humiliation became deep and lasting and stopped her from socialising.
Hypnotherapy can help you overcome social phobia and anxiety
We need to look at ourselves with greater compassion and understanding.
Learn to become your own best friend.
Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to yourself in a supportive way?
You could say to yourself “don’t worry so much” or “I did the best I could”.
But, on second thought, these things are easier said than done.
As a hypnotherapist I know that sometimes we need help.
Give yourself a break, stop criticising yourself. Stop worrying so much about what other people think.
Hypnotherapy can help you to engage in ‘self talk’ in a far more positive way.
Set the wheels in motion to be free from self-blame and relentless criticism. Find ways to stop putting yourself down. Be kind to yourself, then your self-image will improve.
Hypnotherapy has been of help to many people to reduce social phobia, worry and anxiety. You too can have a better relationship with yourself and others.
Written by: Katherine Ferris, specialist in hypnotherapy for social phobia
For more information on hypnotherapy or if you want to make an appointment for hypnosis for social anxiety, please call Katherine Ferris, a Registered Hypnotherapist in Sydney and Annandale, Inner West Sydney on 02 9568 6801, complete my contact form or book a session online.